Exchanging confidences at a Pilates class has opened a door into the amazing complexity of women's inner lives for CLARE CAMPBELL.This week, Kate tells how worried she is at the prospect of having to move in with her mother-in-law. She has a son aged three and is about to give birth to her second baby. She'd like to move to a house with more space and a bigger garden, but her husband, Richard, says they can't afford to move until she returns to work.

In the meantime, his widowed mother, who has a large house in the country, has suggested the family move in with her. Kate is panicking at the idea of being isolated with her mother-in-law all day. But her husband think it's the perfect solution. What should she do?

Ever since the suggestion came up six weeks ago, I've been worrying about whether we should move in with my mother-in-law.  It seemed like such a good idea at first. She lives alone in a large house in the country while my husband Richard and I have a son, Jacob, three, and I'm about to have a second baby.

We can't afford to move anywhere bigger until I go back to work, so moving in with Richard's mother does make perfect financial sense. Except that I just really don't want to. It's not that I don't get on with my mother-in-law. She's kind, generous and has always made me feel welcome. But it is her home, and not mine.

Just last weekend when we went to stay, she got upset because I started putting the food away in the kitchen after we'd been out shopping together.She told Richard afterwards that this made her feel as if I was 'taking over'. I felt this was really controlling and designed to cause trouble. Frankly, after that incident, the thought of having to spend every day alone with her is quite terrifying.

Richard and I have been arguing over this all the time lately. He says his mother has even offered to put the house in his name if we move in, but I feel this is emotional bribery, and would be like signing our lives away.

I would love to move to a bigger house, but I want to decorate it to my taste, not live with the same wallpaper and furniture with which my husband grew up. My own mother is also against it, although I think this is because she'd be jealous of her grandchildren going to live with their 'other' granny on a permanent basis.

Yet I can also see my husband's point of view. It would be a wonderful way of saving us money and bringing up our family in a lovely environment. By far the worst aspect of all this is the rift it's causing between Richard and I. We haven't had sex since we argued two weeks ago and he seems to be taking my rejection of his mother's suggestion personally.

I tried to explain that it's precisely because I value our marriage so much that I don't want to share him with his mother. But he just doesn't see it like that at all.I am also physically tired by my pregnancy and am getting rundown by the stress of it all.I can't understand how one simple conversation has suddenly ballooned into such a huge problem.

I'm scared I can't win this argument and that I'm going to be pushed into doing something that's going to make me unhappy. But I don't want to argue about this with my husband any more, either. What should I do?